Thomas A. Furman

Thomas Furman [1950-2023] was a man torn between two worlds, ours, and his own. To most that knew him, he was just a man that walked to and from nowhere, on his way to somewhere. He worked nearly every single day of his life because he was raised by a man that did the same. As a father, he always provided for his family - he worked to provide for his partner Kathy whom in turn provided him with their 3 children (Carly, Caty and Alex) and in return his children provided him with loving grandchildren.

I would be lying if I were to say that Tom was at peace in the years that I had known him, in his own way he tried to create a peaceful existence, alone tending to his garden, but even that, was on his own terms. He longed for quiet, simply because he had seen enough vile ugliness to turn any decent human being into a cynic [and I would often have to remind myself of that]. I know that Tom loved his fellow veterans, that he honored his fallen comrades and that he tried to remember all those that came before him, because he loved this country - those that know me have heard me say “I do not think he [Tom] ever came back from Vietnam” and that’s ok, because I know that many of his friends did not.

As a man, he lived by a code, to treat others as they treated him. As a father…he tried the best he could to be a father, there is no doubt that he loved his children in his own right. As a friend, well, at times I think it safe to say that we hated to love him, and at other times, we loved to hate him, simply because we all knew that he lived by his own terms and if you did not agree with them, well that was your problem – if only life could be that simple for the rest of us.

Tom was…tormented, there is no denying that. Anyone that knew him could see the scars of his past, he did not hide them [like most], he carried them in plain sight – his life is a reminder to us all that we should remember what our vets are asked to give when they go to war, or quite honestly, we should remind ourselves what they are asked to give up.

For as long as I have known my Tom, he had never asked of anything from anyone, except to be left to his own devices. Quite honestly, I wish I had known him before the Vietnam War, because the man that came home was a shell of his former self, and that is ok, because the man I did know would give you the shirt off his back if you were cold, he would feed you if you were hungry and he would make you laugh if you were upset.

Tom’s legacy can be seen in his children, his partner Kathy of almost 40-years, his mother and his siblings Chris, Bill and Carol. He will be remembered by his first wife Joan and their first-born son Jason [as well as the rest of Purtell clan that will never forget of his character]. His friends will laugh when they remember that smile, a smile that was often followed by a granular laugh. We should all smile when we remember his…emotional outburst, because no matter what, Tommy was a man that could always be counted on.

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”

I hope you have finally found peace father,

Love your son Aaron.

PS: If you see a veteran on the street unhoused, buy him/her a warm plate and say, “this is from Tommy, thank you for your service”, I think that would be the best way we can remember him.

Memorial gifts in Tom's name mkay be made to John J. Wyszomirski American Legion Post 701, 123 West Main Street, Amsterdam, NY 12010